"I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society." -Henry David Thoreau (1854)

星期六, 1月 21, 2006

關於約會的正向思考

整理過去更新,沒想到一向沒什麼耐心的我也寫BLOG寫到一年有餘了,這對雙子座 O型的男人實在是非常、非常不容易的事情。檢討一下過去寫的亂七八糟的東西還有一些日記,發覺好像可閱讀性很低(Orz ) ,在里昂的日記一年,接下來應該多寫一些關於英文的報導。 我想試著從Newsweek裡翻譯一些好文章,希望看到的人能有那麼一點點的感動,即使那麼百分之一的感覺也好。



Maria Dahvana Headley grew up listening to the "Just Say No" anti-drug campaign of the 1980s. As a student at New York University in the late '90s, she applied that advice to her love life, turning down most men who asked her out and dating only intellectual, literary types. Frustrated by those guys, she reversed course, resolving to spend one year responding positively to all flirting and saying yes to literally anyone who asked her out. The ensuing 150 dates included a homeless man, several non-English speakers, 10 taxi drivers, two lesbians and a mime.



Headley: YES, YES, YES!

瑪莉菈‧朵瓦那‧海德蕾自幼聽從在美國1980年代間流行的一句反毒宣傳口號 "勇敢說不",當她在90年間於紐約大學求學時,海德雷在愛情世界裡勇敢的實踐了。她拒絕了大部分向她邀約的男士,而限定"看起來聰明"的類型。由於一直無法覓得如意郎君,海德蕾反其道而行,在歷經一年的時間內,對任何邀約皆來者不拒。連續下來150場的約會對象包括了一位街頭流浪漢、幾位不會說英文的老外、十位小黃運將、兩位蕾絲邊,還有一個默劇演員。

Headley's memoir of the experience, "The Year of Yes" is now in U.S. bookstores, and Hollywood's already calling. She urges other people to say yes more ofter, despite some horrible dates. (One guy took her to a bar that, it became clear, was a strip club.)


海德蕾把這段奇妙的經歷寫成回憶錄"來者不拒的一年" (暫譯)。該書已經在全美各大書店舖貨,好萊屋也有意將其搬上大螢幕。儘管海德蕾經歷了一些可怕的約會(一位男伴帶她去酒吧... 後來很明顯的是脫衣舞場那種) 她仍然力勸人們應該多多益善,嘗試不同的對象。

"Lots of women are pretty set in what they think they have to have in order to be happy, but it doesn't hurt to date people who are not that," she says.

It worked for her: during her dating spree, she met a playwright who was divorced and 25 older and had two children -baggage that would have ordinarily nixed his chances. They married in 2003; now 28, Headly lives in Seattle with two teenage steopchildred. "It's something I never would have picked, but it's turned out to be this kind of amazing experience," she says.


"很多女人為了讓自己快樂,常限制住另一半的交往條件,但其實大可不必。有時候跟符合條件外的對象交往也無傷大雅。"海德蕾說。

這句話海德蕾當之無愧,在她持續一年的亂槍打鳥下,海德蕾遇見一位大她二十歲,離過婚、有兩個拖油瓶的劇作家,他們在2003年步入禮堂,完成了終身大事。28歲的海德蕾成為兩個青少年的繼母,一同居住在美國西雅圖。她說:"這原本不在我的意料之中,但結果卻是出乎我想像的好" 。

參考連結:

  1. 亞馬遜書店: A Year of Yes!
  2. 原始文章連結 Dating: Positive Thinking

LEON :當翻譯這篇文章時為這個女生捏一把冷汗,因為剛好蘋果日報有報導在台東發生的真人真事。一位好心的女騎士在餐廳遇見兩個原住民青年,順路載他們回家,結果反被強暴。檢視亞馬遜書店的編者簡介,海德蕾也有事先過濾過對象,酗酒、嗑藥、有暴力傾向、有婦之夫都不在她的約會選擇裡。

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